Annotations for 4-strand scoring

Grade 7

Annotation Papers

Persuasion Prompt (February 2006):

Write a multi-paragraph letter to a seventh-grade

student from another country to convince him or her to select

your community as a place to live for a year. (WASL 2002)

Everett Public Schools

Grade: 7

Year: 2002

Scoring: 4-Strand by 4-Levels

Modes:

Pages:

Persuasive

4 - 20

Writing

Annotations

Everett Public Schools

Directions:

The following annotations are

organized

by mode and from low to higher skilled

papers within the mode. Each prompt/mode has four papers.

Use

these annotations when reading/rating your papers to rate each strand called

for on the scoring guide. It

‛

s usually thought best to rate holistic traits fi rst, i.e.,

Organization and Style, and then the more detail-oriented traits, i.e., Content and

Conventions. Each set of four papers includes a basic-below paper, two at-standard

papers (low-at-standard and high-at-standard), and an above paper.

When

recording

your students

‛

scores include the student

‛

s name (and ID,

if required), four scores, and the prompt ID. Class averages are optional. Individual

student and class level record/data sheets are near the end of this document.

Scores

for school and classroom level summaries will be reported in whole numbers

only. Individual student scores may be reported as whole numbers and whole num-

bers with pluses and minuses; e.g., 3+, 3, or 3-.

Writing

Annotations

Grade: 7 Year: 2002

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Scorin

Paper:

Prompt:

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

Persuasive

Write a multi-paragraph letter

to a seventh-grade student from another

country to convince him or her to select your

community as a place to live for a year.

The writer generally showed an inadequate ability to write a

persuasive letter.

After tempting a peer to visit, i.e.,

“I think you need a

break from your home town.”

, the writer sustained a

skeletal

middle

organizational pattern

focused

generally on the

fun places his or her community offers. The writer provided

little

evidence

on the list of places and activities, although

minimal

introductory

and

concluding

remarks demonstrated

an attempt to create a sense of completeness.

Transitions

were weak (

when, so

), and few variations in

vocabulary

sentence

structure and length appeared. References to

“…good old S----”

and to the reader’s likely wish to

“…fit

in with other people”

, as well as repetitious use of the

word

fun

, indicated an effort to convey some sense of the

person behind the words in this vague and incomplete response.

Overall, the

message

was simple and lacked interesting content.

Add to that the conventions had consistent misunderstandings

of capitalization (s---, r----), punctuation (commas), and

homophone (are for our) usage.

This paper has not yet met the district’s performance

standard.

027PA13a

Content

RA.

Topic

generally

focused

throughout (2)

RB.

Reasons do

not support

thesis;

missing

(1)

RC.

Evidence connected; does

not support the reasons;

implied

(2)

RD.

Message

present

; simplistic;

flawed;

needs interpretation

(2)

Organization

RA.

Introduction

restates

title or prompt,

unclear, or only a

little sense

of direction

(2)

RB. Middle

loosely patterned

; outline-like (2)

RC.

Transitions

incorrectly used

omitted

, or

repetitive

(1+)

RD.

Conclusion

limited

; restates main points

(2)

Style

RA.

Sentences are similar in beginnings,

length, and/or structure;

no/minimal

“sentence sense”

; does

not invite

reading aloud (1+)

RB.

Word Choice

limited

; does

not

enhance

; thesaurus overload,

passive

verbs (2)

RC.

Voice

distracted

commitment; tone

inconsistent

; yet to be invited-in;

audience/purpose is weak (2+)

Conventions

Level 1: Below Basic

Inconsistently

applies usage, spelling,

capitalization, punctuation and paragraphs;

errors

interfere

with meaning and/or

readability. (1+)

1 +

Page 1 of 2

Grade: 7 Year: 2002

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Scorin

Paper:

Prompt:

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

Persuasive

Write a multi-paragraph letter

to a seventh-grade student from another

country to convince him or her to select your

community as a place to live for a year.

027PA13b

Page 2 of 2

Content

RA.

Topic

generally

focused

throughout (2)

RB.

Reasons do

not support

thesis;

missing

(1)

RC.

Evidence connected; does

not support the reasons;

implied

(2)

RD.

Message

present

; simplistic;

flawed;

needs interpretation

(2)

Organization

RA.

Introduction missing;

no direction

(1)

RB. Middle

loosely patterned

; outline-like (2)

RC.

Transitions

incorrectly used

omitted

, or

repetitive

(1+)

RD.

Conclusion

limited

; restates main points

(2)

Style

RA.

Sentences are similar in beginnings,

length, and/or structure;

no/minimal

“sentence sense”

; does

not invite

reading aloud (1+)

RB.

Word Choice

limited

; does

not

enhance

; thesaurus overload,

passive

verbs (2)

RC.

Voice

distracted

commitment; tone

inconsistent

; yet to be invited-in;

audience/purpose is weak (2+)

Conventions

Level 1: Below Basic

Inconsistently

applies usage, spelling,

capitalization, punctuation and paragraphs;

errors

interfere

with meaning and/or

readability. (1+)

1 +

The writer generally showed an inadequate ability to write a

persuasive letter.

After tempting a peer to visit, i.e.,

“I think you need a

break from your home town.”

, the writer sustained a

skeletal

middle

organizational pattern

focused

generally on the

fun places his or her community offers. The writer provided

little

evidence

on the list of places and activities, although

minimal

introductory

and

concluding

remarks demonstrated

an attempt to create a sense of completeness.

Transitions

were weak (

when, so

), and few variations in

vocabulary

sentence

structure and length appeared. References to

“…good old S----”

and to the reader’s likely wish to

“…fit

in with other people”

, as well as repetitious use of the

word

fun

, indicated an effort to convey some sense of the

person behind the words in this vague and incomplete response.

Overall, the

message

was simple and lacked interesting content.

Add to that the conventions had consistent misunderstandings

of capitalization (s---, r----), punctuation (commas), and

homophone (are for our) usage.

This paper has not yet met the district’s performance

standard.

Grade: 7 Year: 2002

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Scorin

Paper:

Prompt:

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

Persuasive

Write a multi-paragraph letter

to a seventh-grade student from another

country to convince him or her to select your

community as a place to live for a year.

Page 1 of 3

027PA8a

Content

RA.

Topic

narrowly

maintained

(3)

RB.

Reasons

significant,

relevant

to support thesis

(3-)

RC.

Evidence connected; does

not support the reasons;

implied

(2)

RD.

Message

interesting,

important

; may be obvious

(3-)

Organization

RA.

Introduction

presents thesis in some

context

; provides reader with

direction

(3)

RB.

Middle prepared in a

logical pattern

show thesis (3)

RC.

Transitions

show

signal

, or

maintain

basic and sequencing connections (3-)

RD.

Conclusion

ties up

loose ends with

consequences

, connection to the broader,

call for action

(3-)

Style

RA.

Sentences

vary

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure,

usually

flow

smoothly, easily read aloud (3-)

RB.

Word Choice

limited

; does

not

enhance

; thesaurus overload,

passive

verbs (2)

RC.

Voice

shows

commitment

; reader-

writer interaction; tone attracts reader;

audience/purpose

addressed

(3)

Conventions

Level 2: Basic

Consistently

applies usage, spelling,

capitalization, punctuation and paragraphs;

minimal errors

do not interfere

with

meaning and/or readability. (2-)

The writer generally showed an adequate ability to persuade

except for the convention problems.

The letter was

focused

on persuading a reader to stay

“with

me & my family”

and provided three

reasons

with adequate

elaboration and some supporting

detail

for each. With its clear

middle

organizational pattern, including a functional

introduction

(stated reasons to be discussed) and

conclusion

, the response

conveyed a sense of wholeness and completeness. As such

the

message

was interesting and predictable.

Transitions

between ideas were adequate:

“One reason…, Another

reason…, The last reason…, because”

Word choices

were simple, yet appropriate to the audience:

“…heard that

you were coming to the U.S…, calm and peaceful

neghborhood…,plenty of fun…, …you’ll never go

hungry.”

A variety of

sentence

structures contributed

to the fluency of the letter, and the use of persuasive

language in a concluding call to action:

“I hope you come

to America & join my family and I in K----- WA for

a year

”. This

style

provided the reader with some sense of

the person behind the words. The

conventions

fell short of

meeting the standard in the areas of spelling (neghborhood),

punctuation (commas and apostrophes), capitalization

(america, nintendo,Pizza hut), and parallel verb structure.

This paper has just missed meeting the district’s performance

standard mainly because of conventions concerns.

Grade: 7 Year: 2002

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Scorin

Paper:

Prompt:

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

Persuasive

Write a multi-paragraph letter

to a seventh-grade student from another

country to convince him or her to select your

community as a place to live for a year.

Page 2 of 3

027PA8b

Content

RA.

Topic

narrowly

maintained

(3)

RB.

Reasons

significant,

relevant

to support thesis

(3-)

RC.

Evidence connected; does

not support the reasons;

implied

(2)

RD.

Message

interesting,

important

; may be obvious

(3-)

Organization

RA.

Introduction

presents thesis in some

context

; provides reader with

direction

(3)

RB.

Middle prepared in a

logical pattern

show thesis (3)

RC.

Transitions

show

signal

, or

maintain

basic and sequencing connections (3-)

RD.

Conclusion

ties up

loose ends with

consequences

, connection to the broader,

call for action

(3-)

Style

RA.

Sentences

vary

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure,

usually

flow

smoothly, easily read aloud (3-)

RB.

Word Choice

limited

; does

not

enhance

; thesaurus overload,

passive

verbs (2)

RC.

Voice

shows

commitment

; reader-

writer interaction; tone attracts reader;

audience/purpose

addressed

(3)

Conventions

Level 2: Basic

Consistently

applies usage, spelling,

capitalization, punctuation and paragraphs;

minimal errors

do not interfere

with

meaning and/or readability. (2-)

The writer generally showed an adequate ability to persuade

except for the convention problems.

The letter was

focused

on persuading a reader to stay

“with

me & my family”

and provided three

reasons

with adequate

elaboration and some supporting

detail

for each. With its clear

middle

organizational pattern, including a functional

introduction

(stated reasons to be discussed) and

conclusion

, the response

conveyed a sense of wholeness and completeness. As such

the

message

was interesting and predictable.

Transitions

between ideas were adequate:

“One reason…, Another

reason…, The last reason…, because”

Word choices

were simple, yet appropriate to the audience:

“…heard that

you were coming to the U.S…, calm and peaceful

neghborhood…,plenty of fun…, …you’ll never go

hungry.”

A variety of

sentence

structures contributed

to the fluency of the letter, and the use of persuasive

language in a concluding call to action:

“I hope you come

to America & join my family and I in K----- WA for

a year

”. This

style

provided the reader with some sense of

the person behind the words. The

conventions

fell short of

meeting the standard in the areas of spelling (neghborhood),

punctuation (commas and apostrophes), capitalization

(america, nintendo,Pizza hut), and parallel verb structure.

This paper has just missed meeting the district’s performance

standard mainly because of conventions concerns.

Grade: 7 Year: 2002

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Scorin

Paper:

Prompt:

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

Persuasive

Write a multi-paragraph letter

to a seventh-grade student from another

country to convince him or her to select your

community as a place to live for a year.

Page 3 of 3

027PA8c

Content

RA.

Topic

narrowly

maintained

(3)

RB.

Reasons

significant,

relevant

to support thesis

(3-)

RC.

Evidence connected; does

not support the reasons;

implied

(2)

RD.

Message

interesting,

important

; may be obvious

(3-)

Organization

RA.

Introduction

presents thesis in some

context

; provides reader with

direction

(3)

RB.

Middle prepared in a

logical pattern

show thesis (3)

RC.

Transitions

show

signal

, or

maintain

basic and sequencing connections (3-)

RD.

Conclusion

ties up

loose ends with

consequences

, connection to the broader,

call for action

(3-)

Style

RA.

Sentences

vary

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure,

usually

flow

smoothly, easily read aloud (3-)

RB.

Word Choice

limited

; does

not

enhance

; thesaurus overload,

passive

verbs (2)

RC.

Voice

shows

commitment

; reader-

writer interaction; tone attracts reader;

audience/purpose

addressed

(3)

Conventions

Level 2: Basic

Consistently

applies usage, spelling,

capitalization, punctuation and paragraphs;

minimal errors

do not interfere

with

meaning and/or readability. (2-)

The writer generally showed an adequate ability to persuade

except for the convention problems.

The letter was

focused

on persuading a reader to stay

“with

me & my family”

and provided three

reasons

with adequate

elaboration and some supporting

detail

for each. With its clear

middle

organizational pattern, including a functional

introduction

(stated reasons to be discussed) and

conclusion

, the response

conveyed a sense of wholeness and completeness. As such

the

message

was interesting and predictable.

Transitions

between ideas were adequate:

“One reason…, Another

reason…, The last reason…, because”

Word choices

were simple, yet appropriate to the audience:

“…heard that

you were coming to the U.S…, calm and peaceful

neghborhood…,plenty of fun…, …you’ll never go

hungry.”

A variety of

sentence

structures contributed

to the fluency of the letter, and the use of persuasive

language in a concluding call to action:

“I hope you come

to America & join my family and I in K----- WA for

a year

”. This

style

provided the reader with some sense of

the person behind the words. The

conventions

fell short of

meeting the standard in the areas of spelling (neghborhood),

punctuation (commas and apostrophes), capitalization

(america, nintendo,Pizza hut), and parallel verb structure.

This paper has just missed meeting the district’s performance

standard mainly because of conventions concerns.

Grade: 7 Year: 2002

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Scorin

Paper:

Prompt:

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

Persuasive

Write a multi-paragraph letter

to a seventh-grade student from another

country to convince him or her to select your

community as a place to live for a year.

Page 1 of 3

027PA7a

Content

RA.

Topic

narrowly

maintained

(3-)

RB.

Reasons

significant,

relevant

to support thesis

(3-)

RC.

Evidence

significant,

relevant & elaborated,

supports reasons (3)

RD.

Message

interesting,

important

; may be

obvious (3)

Organization

RA.

Introduction

restates

title or prompt,

unclear, or only a

little sense

of direction

(2)

RB.

Middle prepared in a

logical pattern

show thesis (3-)

RC.

Transitions

telling/sequencing

connections

(2+)

RD.

Conclusion

ties up

loose ends with

consequences

, connection to the broader,

call for action

(3-)

Style

RA.

Sentences

vary

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure,

usually

flow

smoothly, easily read aloud (3)

RB.

Word Choice

specifc

;

strengthens

writing;

shows

use of

active

verbs

(3)

RC.

Voice

shows

commitment

; reader-

writer interaction; tone attracts reader;

audience/purpose

addressed

(3)

Conventions

Level 2: Basic

Consistently

applies usage, spelling,

capitalization, punctuation and

paragraphs;

minimal errors

do not

interfere

with meaning and/or readability.

(2+)

The writer consistently demonstrated

a suffcient ability to

persuade a reader but the conventions fell short.

The writer

focused

on his or her opening statement: “

location is great for an exchange student.

” Then the

letter listed six reasons for this assertion, each supported

by adequate

reasons

, elaboration and some specifc

detail

“

…when Octoberfest arrives. There are little shops

all over the place. They also have hay mazes, corn

mazes, horse rides, they even have a big balloon

thing you can jump in.”

With its

body

having a reasonably

logical organizational pattern that included brief

introductory

and

concluding

remarks and adequate, though rudimentary

transitions

(

My school is cool; They have…; They also

have…; They also have…

), the response conveyed a sense

of wholeness and completeness.

Sentences

were somewhat

varied in length and structure;

word choice

ranged from

general vocabulary (“

It will be fun. The weather here

is nice. It is a great place…”

) to more engaging use of

language (“

There is one thing I know you will never

forget. Food!

“) This enthusiasm also contributed to the

voice

with a sense of the person behind the words. Where

it let down was in

conventions

. There were usage problems in

parallel tense and object agreement (me and my family) as

well as run-on and complete sentences. Spelling (resturaunts

and circular) also needed editing.

This paper has not yet met the district’s performance

standard.

Grade: 7 Year: 2002

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Scorin

Paper:

Prompt:

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

Persuasive

Write a multi-paragraph letter

to a seventh-grade student from another

country to convince him or her to select your

community as a place to live for a year.

Page 2 of 3

027PA7b

Content

RA.

Topic

narrowly

maintained

(3-)

RB.

Reasons

significant,

relevant

to support thesis

(3-)

RC.

Evidence

significant,

relevant & elaborated,

supports reasons (3)

RD.

Message

interesting,

important

; may be

obvious (3)

Organization

RA.

Introduction

restates

title or prompt,

unclear, or only a

little sense

of direction

(2)

RB.

Middle prepared in a

logical pattern

show thesis (3-)

RC.

Transitions

telling/sequencing

connections

(2+)

RD.

Conclusion

ties up

loose ends with

consequences

, connection to the broader,

call for action

(3-)

Style

RA.

Sentences

vary

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure,

usually

flow

smoothly, easily read aloud (3)

RB.

Word Choice

specifc

;

strengthens

writing;

shows

use of

active

verbs

(3)

RC.

Voice

shows

commitment

; reader-

writer interaction; tone attracts reader;

audience/purpose

addressed

(3)

Conventions

Level 2: Basic

Consistently

applies usage, spelling,

capitalization, punctuation and

paragraphs;

minimal errors

do not

interfere

with meaning and/or readability.

(2+)

The writer consistently demonstrated

a suffcient ability to

persuade a reader but the conventions fell short.

The writer

focused

on his or her opening statement: “

location is great for an exchange student.

” Then the

letter listed six reasons for this assertion, each supported

by adequate

reasons

, elaboration and some specifc

detail

“

…when Octoberfest arrives. There are little shops

all over the place. They also have hay mazes, corn

mazes, horse rides, they even have a big balloon

thing you can jump in.”

With its

body

having a reasonably

logical organizational pattern that included brief

introductory

and

concluding

remarks and adequate, though rudimentary

transitions

(

My school is cool; They have…; They also

have…; They also have…

), the response conveyed a sense

of wholeness and completeness.

Sentences

were somewhat

varied in length and structure;

word choice

ranged from

general vocabulary (“

It will be fun. The weather here

is nice. It is a great place…”

) to more engaging use of

language (“

There is one thing I know you will never

forget. Food!

“) This enthusiasm also contributed to the

voice

with a sense of the person behind the words. Where

it let down was in

conventions

. There were usage problems in

parallel tense and object agreement (me and my family) as

well as run-on and complete sentences. Spelling (resturaunts

and circular) also needed editing.

This paper has not yet met the district’s performance

standard.

Grade: 7 Year: 2002

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Scorin

Paper:

Prompt:

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

Persuasive

Write a multi-paragraph letter

to a seventh-grade student from another

country to convince him or her to select your

community as a place to live for a year.

Page 3 of 3

027PA7c

Content

RA.

Topic

narrowly

maintained

(3-)

RB.

Reasons

significant,

relevant

to support thesis

(3-)

RC.

Evidence

significant,

relevant & elaborated,

supports reasons (3)

RD.

Message

interesting,

important

; may be

obvious (3)

Organization

RA.

Introduction

restates

title or prompt,

unclear, or only a

little sense

of direction

(2)

RB.

Middle prepared in a

logical pattern

show thesis (3-)

RC.

Transitions

telling/sequencing

connections

(2+)

RD.

Conclusion

ties up

loose ends with

consequences

, connection to the broader,

call for action

(3-)

Style

RA.

Sentences

vary

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure,

usually

flow

smoothly, easily read aloud (3)

RB.

Word Choice

specifc

;

strengthens

writing;

shows

use of

active

verbs

(3)

RC.

Voice

shows

commitment

; reader-

writer interaction; tone attracts reader;

audience/purpose

addressed

(3)

Conventions

Level 2: Basic

Consistently

applies usage, spelling,

capitalization, punctuation and

paragraphs;

minimal errors

do not

interfere

with meaning and/or readability.

(2+)

The writer consistently demonstrated

a suffcient ability to

persuade a reader but the conventions fell short.

The writer

focused

on his or her opening statement: “

location is great for an exchange student.

” Then the

letter listed six reasons for this assertion, each supported

by adequate

reasons

, elaboration and some specifc

detail

“

…when Octoberfest arrives. There are little shops

all over the place. They also have hay mazes, corn

mazes, horse rides, they even have a big balloon

thing you can jump in.”

With its

body

having a reasonably

logical organizational pattern that included brief

introductory

and

concluding

remarks and adequate, though rudimentary

transitions

(

My school is cool; They have…; They also

have…; They also have…

), the response conveyed a sense

of wholeness and completeness.

Sentences

were somewhat

varied in length and structure;

word choice

ranged from

general vocabulary (“

It will be fun. The weather here

is nice. It is a great place…”

) to more engaging use of

language (“

There is one thing I know you will never

forget. Food!

“) This enthusiasm also contributed to the

voice

with a sense of the person behind the words. Where

it let down was in

conventions

. There were usage problems in

parallel tense and object agreement (me and my family) as

well as run-on and complete sentences. Spelling (resturaunts

and circular) also needed editing.

This paper has not yet met the district’s performance

standard.

Grade: 7 Year: 2002

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Scorin

Paper:

Prompt:

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

Persuasive

Write a multi-paragraph letter

to a seventh-grade student from another

country to convince him or her to select your

community as a place to live for a year.

027V3a

Page 1 of

Content

A. Topic

purposeful

throughout (4-)

RB.

Reasons

purposeful

fully

support thesis/position (4)

RC.

Evidence purposeful,

relevant, elaborated to fully

support reasons,

clarifes

(4)

RD.

Message

insightful

clarifes

, goes beyond,

anticipates questions (4-)

Organization

RA.

Introduction

creatively

presents thesis in

context; draws reader in with

strong

sense

of direction (4-)

RB.

Middle

purposefully

arranged in a

logical

pattern; clearly fit together (4-)

RC.

Transitions

show

signal

, or

maintain

basic and sequencing connections (3+)

RD.

Conclusion

ties up

loose ends with

consequences

, connection to the broader,

call for action

(3)

Style

RA.

Sentences vary

widely

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure, flow

easily

;

cadence

invites

reading aloud (4)

RB.

Word Choice

specifc

;

strengthens

writing;

shows

use of

active

verbs

(3+)

RC.

Voice

engaging

confdent

commitment,

takes a risk

; hooks

reader; audience/purpose

strongly

addressed (4-)

Conventions

Level 3: Proficient

(According to grade level

expectations)

Competent

use of conventions;

mostly

and

consistently

applies correctly

usage, spelling, and punctuation;

does not interfere with meaning and/or

readability. (3+)

The writer consistently demonstrated an agreeable ability to

persuade effectively.

An emphatic

introduction

(

I would like to invite you to come

and live in our community for a year. Don’t worry you

won’t be bored.”)

paved the way for an amply

elaborated

logically organized

middle

discussion of why to visit. Hunting,

fshing, baseball, and “…

what kids wait for all year…”

were

used adequately for illustrations to persuade. The

message

was

clarifying and examples connected main ideas together nicely.

The

conclusion

did a nice job of summarizing and calling the

reader to respond.

Transitions

in the body (

“If you like…, In

addition…, Finally,… so…, Last year…, also, Another

thing;”

) helped the flow of ideas. The writer’s audience

awareness remained consistent throughout the letter and helped

to unify ideas and to convey a

style

(sense of the person behind

the words):

Everyone has a blast…, Everyone has a big

party…, I hope to be seeing or hearing from you soon.

Word choice

was appropriate for the audience and included

some precise labeling (of animals)

“upland game birds”

and

kneeboarding

. On the other hand, more descriptive words

and imagery in the words and phrases would have helped the

persuasive aspects of the letter.

Sentences

varied widely and

made the letter flow smoothly.

conventions

were mostly correct.

Parallel verb usage and semicolon use were the only problems.

They did not, however, interfere with the meaning..

This paper has met the district’s performance standard.

Grade: 7 Year: 2002

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Scorin

Paper:

Prompt:

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

Persuasive

Write a multi-paragraph letter

to a seventh-grade student from another

country to convince him or her to select your

community as a place to live for a year.

Page 2 of

027V3b

Content

A. Topic

purposeful

throughout (4-)

RB.

Reasons

purposeful

fully

support thesis/position (4)

RC.

Evidence purposeful,

relevant, elaborated to fully

support reasons,

clarifes

(4)

RD.

Message

insightful

clarifes

, goes beyond,

anticipates questions (4-)

Organization

RA.

Introduction

creatively

presents thesis in

context; draws reader in with

strong

sense

of direction (4-)

RB.

Middle

purposefully

arranged in a

logical

pattern; clearly fit together (4-)

RC.

Transitions

show

signal

, or

maintain

basic and sequencing connections (3+)

RD.

Conclusion

ties up

loose ends with

consequences

, connection to the broader,

call for action

(3)

Style

RA.

Sentences vary

widely

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure, flow

easily

;

cadence

invites

reading aloud (4)

RB.

Word Choice

specifc

;

strengthens

writing;

shows

use of

active

verbs

(3+)

RC.

Voice

engaging

confdent

commitment,

takes a risk

; hooks

reader; audience/purpose

strongly

addressed (4-)

Conventions

Level 3: Proficient

(According to grade level

expectations)

Competent

use of conventions;

mostly

and

consistently

applies correctly

usage, spelling, and punctuation;

does not interfere with meaning and/or

readability. (3+)

The writer consistently demonstrated an agreeable ability to

persuade effectively.

An emphatic

introduction

(

I would like to invite you to come

and live in our community for a year. Don’t worry you

won’t be bored.”)

paved the way for an amply

elaborated

logically organized

middle

discussion of why to visit. Hunting,

fshing, baseball, and “…

what kids wait for all year…”

were

used adequately for illustrations to persuade. The

message

was

clarifying and examples connected main ideas together nicely.

The

conclusion

did a nice job of summarizing and calling the

reader to respond.

Transitions

in the body (

“If you like…, In

addition…, Finally,… so…, Last year…, also, Another

thing;”

) helped the flow of ideas. The writer’s audience

awareness remained consistent throughout the letter and helped

to unify ideas and to convey a

style

(sense of the person behind

the words):

Everyone has a blast…, Everyone has a big

party…, I hope to be seeing or hearing from you soon.

Word choice

was appropriate for the audience and included

some precise labeling (of animals)

“upland game birds”

and

kneeboarding

. On the other hand, more descriptive words

and imagery in the words and phrases would have helped the

persuasive aspects of the letter.

Sentences

varied widely and

made the letter flow smoothly.

conventions

were mostly correct.

Parallel verb usage and semicolon use were the only problems.

They did not, however, interfere with the meaning..

This paper has met the district’s performance standard.

Grade: 7 Year: 2002

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Scorin

Paper:

Prompt:

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

Persuasive

Write a multi-paragraph letter

to a seventh-grade student from another

country to convince him or her to select your

community as a place to live for a year.

Page 3 of

027V3c

Content

A. Topic

purposeful

throughout (4-)

RB.

Reasons

purposeful

fully

support thesis/position (4)

RC.

Evidence purposeful,

relevant, elaborated to fully

support reasons,

clarifes

(4)

RD.

Message

insightful

clarifes

, goes beyond,

anticipates questions (4-)

Organization

RA.

Introduction

creatively

presents thesis in

context; draws reader in with

strong

sense

of direction (4-)

RB.

Middle

purposefully

arranged in a

logical

pattern; clearly fit together (4-)

RC.

Transitions

show

signal

, or

maintain

basic and sequencing connections (3+)

RD.

Conclusion

ties up

loose ends with

consequences

, connection to the broader,

call for action

(3)

Style

RA.

Sentences vary

widely

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure, flow

easily

;

cadence

invites

reading aloud (4)

RB.

Word Choice

specifc

;

strengthens

writing;

shows

use of

active

verbs

(3+)

RC.

Voice

engaging

confdent

commitment,

takes a risk

; hooks

reader; audience/purpose

strongly

addressed (4-)

Conventions

Level 3: Proficient

(According to grade level

expectations)

Competent

use of conventions;

mostly

and

consistently

applies correctly

usage, spelling, and punctuation;

does not interfere with meaning and/or

readability. (3+)

The writer consistently demonstrated an agreeable ability to

persuade effectively.

An emphatic

introduction

(

I would like to invite you to come

and live in our community for a year. Don’t worry you

won’t be bored.”)

paved the way for an amply

elaborated

logically organized

middle

discussion of why to visit. Hunting,

fshing, baseball, and “…

what kids wait for all year…”

were

used adequately for illustrations to persuade. The

message

was

clarifying and examples connected main ideas together nicely.

The

conclusion

did a nice job of summarizing and calling the

reader to respond.

Transitions

in the body (

“If you like…, In

addition…, Finally,… so…, Last year…, also, Another

thing;”

) helped the flow of ideas. The writer’s audience

awareness remained consistent throughout the letter and helped

to unify ideas and to convey a

style

(sense of the person behind

the words):

Everyone has a blast…, Everyone has a big

party…, I hope to be seeing or hearing from you soon.

Word choice

was appropriate for the audience and included

some precise labeling (of animals)

“upland game birds”

and

kneeboarding

. On the other hand, more descriptive words

and imagery in the words and phrases would have helped the

persuasive aspects of the letter.

Sentences

varied widely and

made the letter flow smoothly.

conventions

were mostly correct.

Parallel verb usage and semicolon use were the only problems.

They did not, however, interfere with the meaning..

This paper has met the district’s performance standard.

Grade: 7 Year: 2002

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Scorin

Paper:

Prompt:

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

Persuasive

Write a multi-paragraph letter

to a seventh-grade student from another

country to convince him or her to select your

community as a place to live for a year.

Page of

027V3d

Content

A. Topic

purposeful

throughout (4-)

RB.

Reasons

purposeful

fully

support thesis/position (4)

RC.

Evidence purposeful,

relevant, elaborated to fully

support reasons,

clarifes

(4)

RD.

Message

insightful

clarifes

, goes beyond,

anticipates questions (4-)

Organization

RA.

Introduction

creatively

presents thesis in

context; draws reader in with

strong

sense

of direction (4-)

RB.

Middle

purposefully

arranged in a

logical

pattern; clearly fit together (4-)

RC.

Transitions

show

signal

, or

maintain

basic and sequencing connections (3+)

RD.

Conclusion

ties up

loose ends with

consequences

, connection to the broader,

call for action

(3)

Style

RA.

Sentences vary

widely

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure, flow

easily

;

cadence

invites

reading aloud (4)

RB.

Word Choice

specifc

;

strengthens

writing;

shows

use of

active

verbs

(3+)

RC.

Voice

engaging

confdent

commitment,

takes a risk

; hooks

reader; audience/purpose

strongly

addressed (4-)

Conventions

Level 3: Proficient

(According to grade level

expectations)

Competent

use of conventions;

mostly

and

consistently

applies correctly

usage, spelling, and punctuation;

does not interfere with meaning and/or

readability. (3+)

The writer consistently demonstrated an agreeable ability to

persuade effectively.

An emphatic

introduction

(

I would like to invite you to come

and live in our community for a year. Don’t worry you

won’t be bored.”)

paved the way for an amply

elaborated

logically organized

middle

discussion of why to visit. Hunting,

fshing, baseball, and “…

what kids wait for all year…”

were

used adequately for illustrations to persuade. The

message

was

clarifying and examples connected main ideas together nicely.

The

conclusion

did a nice job of summarizing and calling the

reader to respond.

Transitions

in the body (

“If you like…, In

addition…, Finally,… so…, Last year…, also, Another

thing;”

) helped the flow of ideas. The writer’s audience

awareness remained consistent throughout the letter and helped

to unify ideas and to convey a

style

(sense of the person behind

the words):

Everyone has a blast…, Everyone has a big

party…, I hope to be seeing or hearing from you soon.

Word choice

was appropriate for the audience and included

some precise labeling (of animals)

“upland game birds”

and

kneeboarding

. On the other hand, more descriptive words

and imagery in the words and phrases would have helped the

persuasive aspects of the letter.

Sentences

varied widely and

made the letter flow smoothly.

conventions

were mostly correct.

Parallel verb usage and semicolon use were the only problems.

They did not, however, interfere with the meaning..

This paper has met the district’s performance standard.

Writing Sample

Content

Organization

Style

Conventions

Grade 7 Year 2002

027PA13

Dear B

Hi my name is J

, I am a 7th grade student at M

Middle School.

I think you need a break from your home town. You could stay at my house

and I can show you good old S

. It is a great place for tourists so you

will

t in with other people

We will go to parks and fun places like the mall. you will love R

park

that is the funest place. When the fair comes in the fall we will go there and

spend all are money. this will beso fun I can’t wait. Write back if you think it

will be fun.

Sincerely,

Writing Sample

Content

Organization

Style

Conventions

Grade 7 Year 2002

Dear Y

How are you! I heard that you were coming to the US so I decided that you

should stay with me + my family. It is a really safe neghborhood. theres

plenty of places with good food.

One reason is because it is a very safe neghborhood. We don’t have a very

gangs, shootings or drugbust. We have a very calm and peaceful neghborhood

Another reason is that there is plenty of fun things to do around here. Like

during the summer we can go to the water slides or the pool. We can go to the

skate park the arcade or just hang out around here and play some nintendo.

The last reason is because there is great places to eat. Like Taco Bell Taco

Johns Pizza hut + the Double Dragon. So you’ll never go hungry as long as

you have money.

Well Y

thats it I hope you come to America + join my family + I in

WA for a year.

Sincerely,

027PA8

Writing Sample

Content

Organization

Style

Conventions

Grade 7 Year 2002

027PA7

Dear M

Want to come and visit me and my family for a year? It will be fun. My

location is great for an exchange student. We can play outside any time we

want, except for when we are at school.

My school is cool. They have good electives and P.E. They also have

good teachers. They also have extra ciricular activities.

At home we can do our homework then go rides bikes anywhere we

want to because there isn’t much traf

c. The only time there is a lot of traf

is when October fest arrives. There are little shops all over the place. They

also have hay mazes, corn mazes, horse rides, they even have a big balloon

thing you can jump in.

If you want we can go to the S

hockey games. Or even

the Globtrotters.

There is one thing I know you will never forget. Food! We have resuraunts

from Italian to Chinese. My favorite is Mexican food. We even have fast

food resturaunts.

If you like basketball, you can play for the school, or even play AAU. It is

very competitive.

The weather here is nice. We get a lot of snow during winter. If you

come I will teach you how to snowboard, it is the funnest thing on snow. And

in the Summer it can get up to 100 degrees. I am sure you will have fun here.

It is a great place. Tell me when you decide.

Sincerely,

Writing Sample

Content

Organization

Style

Conventions

Grade 7 Year 2002

4311 S. Elm St.

, WA

April 29, 2002

Dear L

My name is A

. I’m a 7th grader from H

Middle School in K

, Washington. I would like to invite you to come and

live in our community for a year. Don’t worry you won’t be bored. There are

many fun things to do in the T

-C

like go

shing and hunting, go to

-C

games, and do various things in the summer.

If you like hunting and

shing, T-C is a great area for that. Lots of

people go down to the C

or family

shing pond. There are many

different kinds of

sh you can catch. Even if you don’t catch anything it’s still

fun just trying. People also go hunting in areas around T

-C

. That’s

one good thing about living here, you don’t have to drive that long to

a good hunting spot. The different species you can hunt for are waterfowl,

upland game birds, elk, deer, bear and cougars.

In addition to hunting and

shing, going to C

baseball games is really fun. They are a triple A team, so some of them go

on to the major leagues. Last year was their

rst year they gave out a lot of

things and had

reworks. If you enjoy baseball, you could play in Babe Ruth

league, a baseball league for ages 13-15.

Finally, what kids wait for all year is the Summer. There are tons of

things to do. Everyone has a blast. The number one thing kids like to do is go

to the waterpark. There is 5 big slides, 3 drop off slides, 1 family slide, a hot

tub, and a big pool with a small stream connecting to a pool where the little

027V3

Writing Sample

Content

Organization

Style

Conventions

Grade 7 Year 2002

kids slides are There is also many golf courses here is you like to golf. A lot

of people go water skiing, kneeboarding, intertubing, wakeboarding, and jet

skiing down at the river. Also, in the river during the summer is hydroplane

races. Everybody has a big party while its going on. Another thing held at

the river is the 4th of July. A big barge comes and people light off

reworks.

Last during the Summer is the fair. There is rodeos, concerts, dirtbike racing,

animals, carnival rides, and food.

In conclusion, I hope you think about coming to live down here for a

year. It’s a fun place to live with many things to do like

shing and hunting,

go to baseball games, and do a lot of stuff in the Summer. I hope to be seeing

or hearing from you soon!

Sincerely,

027V3 continued