Everett Public Schools

Modes:

Expository

Annotations

---

Everett Public Schools

Directions:

The following annotations are

organized

by mode and from low to higher skilled

papers within the mode. Each prompt/mode has four papers.

Use

these annotations when reading/rating your papers to rate each strand called

for on the scoring guide. It’s usually thought best to rate holistic traits fi rst, i.e.,

Organization and Style, and then the more detail-oriented traits, i.e., Content and

Conventions. Each set of four papers includes a basic-below paper, two at-standard

papers (low-at-standard and high-at-standard), and an above paper.

When

recording

your students’ scores include the student’s name (and ID,

if required), four scores, and the prompt ID. Class averages are optional. Individual

student and class level record/data sheets are near the end of this document.

Scores

for district purposes should be reported in whole numbers 1-4. In the

classroom setting, you might want to use half step intervals. e.g., 3.5, or whole

numbers with pluses and minuses. e.g., 3+ to designate the upper or lower range of

any score. The scoring guide has been reproduced on the last pages.

Annotations

---

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Mode:

Annotation:

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Mode:

Annotation:

Paper:

Prompt:

11

Paper: Paper: Paper: Paper:

Prompt:Prompt:Prompt:Prompt:

Grade:

Grade: 8 8 Year:

Year: 20032003

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

03808

Expository

Do grades on tests and report cards indicate how

successful someone will be in the future? What do you think? Take

a position and give several supporting details.

Consider older students or adults you know. What do you think their

grades were? Did grades predict anything in their lives?

In several paragraphs describe to a teen magazine editor your point

of view and

explain

why

you take that position.

Content

RA. Topic

generally

focused

throughout (2)

RB. Reasons do

not support

thesis;

missing

(1)

RC. Evidence does

not support

reasons;

missing

(1)

RD. Message

present

; simplistic;

flawed;

needs interpretation (2)

Organization

RA. Introduction

restates

title or prompt,

unclear, or only a

little sense

of

direction (2)

RB. Middle

loosely patterned

; outline-like (2)

RC. Transitions

telling/sequencing

connections

(2+)

RD. Conclusion

missing

; restates topic; text

abruptly

ends (1)

Style

RA. Sentences have

some

variety in

beginnings, length, and/or structure;

awkward

;

troublesome

to read aloud (2)

RB. Word Choice

limited

; does

not enhance

;

thesaurus overload,

passive

verbs (2-)

RC. Voice

distracted

commitment; tone

inconsistent

; yet to be invited-in;

audience/purpose is weak (2)

Conventions

R

Level 1: Below Basic

Inconsistently

applies

usage, spelling, capitalization,

punctuation and paragraphs;

errors interfere

with meaning

and/or readability. (1+)

22

2

1

Page 1 of 1

The writer regularly lacks the ability to explain effectively.

In explaining why being successful on tests is important, the

writer presents an inconsistent

focus

on the main idea. With

unconnected statements and lists of reasons,

reasons

and

ideas

lack relevance in what is being explained. Since the

message

has unclear thoughts, it is diffi cult to understand

why good grades are important to the writer. Given that the

prompt has been basically restated: “

…your not successful

on test or reportcards it will effect you in the future.

”,

the

introduction

provides the reader with only a little sense

of direction.

Middle

events appear to be random with little

evidence of order. Weak and telling use of

transitions,

e.g.,

Also… So…,

contribute to the lack of organization. However,

there are some stronger transitions but they do not enhance

meaning: “

Another why… because then…

” Seeing as the

text ends abruptly, any

conclusion

is missing. There is minimal

variety in the sentences, which are usually awkward, disallowing

reading aloud. With limited

word choice

, the writer does

not allow the writing to be enhanced. The writers’

voice

is

inconsistent, as distracted commitment does not invite the

reader in. Incorrect Standard English

usage

(

your for you’re

)

does affect meaning, as well as limited use of

punctuation

.

Capitalization

is inconsistent (

ged

).

Spelling

has basic rule

errors (

whant, getting, reson,

and d-b reversals

)

, but

meaning is not always lost.

Paragraphs

are present, but their

purpose is not clear.

This paper has not yet met the district’s performance

standard.

---

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Mode:

Annotation:

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Mode:

Annotation:

Paper:

Prompt:

12

Paper: Paper: Paper: Paper:

Prompt:Prompt:Prompt:Prompt:

Grade:

Grade: 8 8 Year:

Year: 20032003

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

03826a

Expository

Do grades on tests and report cards indicate how

successful someone will be in the future? What do you think? Take

a position and give several supporting details.

Consider older students or adults you know. What do you think their

grades were? Did grades predict anything in their lives?

In several paragraphs describe to a teen magazine editor your point

of view and

explain

why

you take that position.

Content

RA. Topic

narrowly

maintained (3)

RB. Reasons

significant,

relevant

to

support thesis (3)

RC. Evidence purposeful, relevant,

elaborated to fully support

reasons,

clarifi

(4)

es

RD. Message

interesting, important

;

may be obvious (3)

Organization

RA. Introduction

creatively

presents thesis in

context; draws reader in with

strong

sense

of direction (4)

RB. Middle prepared in a

logical pattern

to

show thesis (3)

RC. Transitions clearly provide

cohesion

that

covers the bulk of the text; intentionally

signals/

implies relationship

connections

(4)

RD. Conclusion

limited

; restates main points

(2+)

Style

RA. Sentences vary

widely

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure, flow

easily

;

cadence

,

invites

reading aloud (4)

RB. Word Choice

specifi

;

strengthens

c

writing;

shows

use of

active

verbs (3)

RC. Voice

shows

commitment

; reader-writer

interaction; tone attracts reader; audience/

purpose

addressed

(3-))

Conventions

R

Level 3: Proficient

(According to

grade level expectations)

Competent

use of conventions;

mostly

and

consistently

applies correctly usage, spelling,

and punctuation; does not

interfere with meaning and/or

readability. (3)

34

3

Page 1 of 2

3

The writer generally shows a sufficient ability to explain

effectively.

A narrowly maintained

focus

appears throughout this paper.

Relevant

reasons

allow the writers’ ideas to develop, as the

predictable

message

is expanded upon:

“Overall, tests and

report cards will show how successful someone will

become.”

The evidence does seem purposeful and clarifying:

“Doing good in school means… hard worker,… serious

about education… learned from your previous mistakes

and fixed them… ahead of everyone…”

The reader is

provided with direction during the

introduction

, as supporting

ideas are prepared in a logical pattern. The capable use of

transitions

:

“…in addition… It means… with these in

mind; for example…”

shows connections between and within

paragraphs. The

conclusion

, however, is limited, short (buried

in a long paragraph of new thoughts) and only restates the main

points. With a variety of beginnings and lengths,

sentences

usually fl ow smoothly: “

Doing good in school means that

you’re a hard worker, smart, and you are serious about

education.”

Writing is strengthened by means of appropriate

word choice

, revealing enough

voice

within the text to show a

tone of commitment allowing the writer to hook the reader.

Usage

of standard English is mostly correct (except for

your

for you’re) and the same for

spelling

(except for

ciriculum,

freind

), while

capitalization

and

punctuation

are nearly always

correct.

Paragraphs

are indicated correctly the same way and

help clarify meaning.

This paper has met the district’s performance standard.

---

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Mode:

Annotation:

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Mode:

Annotation:

Paper:

Prompt:

13

Paper: Paper: Paper: Paper:

Prompt:Prompt:Prompt:Prompt:

Grade:

Grade: 8 8 Year:

Year: 20032003

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

The writer generally shows a sufficient ability to explain

effectively.

A narrowly maintained

focus

appears throughout this paper.

Relevant

reasons

allow the writers’ ideas to develop, as the

predictable

message

is expanded upon:

“Overall, tests and

report cards will show how successful someone will

become.”

The evidence does seem purposeful and clarifying:

“Doing good in school means… hard worker,… serious

about education… learned from your previous mistakes

and fixed them… ahead of everyone…”

The reader is

provided with direction during the

introduction

, as supporting

ideas are prepared in a logical pattern. The capable use of

transitions

:

“…in addition… It means… with these in

mind; for example…”

shows connections between and within

paragraphs. The

conclusion

, however, is limited, short (buried

in a long paragraph of new thoughts) and only restates the main

points. With a variety of beginnings and lengths,

sentences

usually fl ow smoothly: “

Doing good in school means that

you’re a hard worker, smart, and you are serious about

education.”

Writing is strengthened by means of appropriate

word choice

, revealing enough

voice

within the text to show a

tone of commitment allowing the writer to hook the reader.

Usage

of standard English is mostly correct (except for

your

for you’re) and the same for

spelling

(except for

ciriculum,

freind

), while

capitalization

and

punctuation

are nearly always

correct.

Paragraphs

are indicated correctly the same way and

help clarify meaning.

This paper has met the district’s performance standard.

03826b

Expository

Do grades on tests and report cards indicate how

successful someone will be in the future? What do you think? Take

a position and give several supporting details.

Consider older students or adults you know. What do you think their

grades were? Did grades predict anything in their lives?

In several paragraphs describe to a teen magazine editor your point

of view and

explain

why

you take that position.

Page 2 of 2

Content

RA. Topic

narrowly

maintained (3)

RB. Reasons

significant,

relevant

to

support thesis (3)

RC. Evidence purposeful, relevant,

elaborated to fully support

reasons,

clarifi

(4)

es

RD. Message

interesting, important

;

may be obvious (3)

Organization

RA. Introduction

creatively

presents thesis in

context; draws reader in with

strong

sense

of direction (4)

RB. Middle prepared in a

logical pattern

to

show thesis (3)

RC. Transitions clearly provide

cohesion

that

covers the bulk of the text; intentionally

signals/

implies relationship

connections

(4)

RD. Conclusion

limited

; restates main points

(2+)

Style

RA. Sentences vary

widely

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure, flow

easily

;

cadence

,

invites

reading aloud (4)

RB. Word Choice

specifi

;

strengthens

c

writing;

shows

use of

active

verbs (3)

RC. Voice

shows

commitment

; reader-writer

interaction; tone attracts reader; audience/

purpose

addressed

(3-))

Conventions

R

Level 3: Proficient

(According to

grade level expectations)

Competent

use of conventions;

mostly

and

consistently

applies correctly usage, spelling,

and punctuation; does not

interfere with meaning and/or

readability. (3)

34

3

3

---

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Mode:

Annotation:

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Mode:

Annotation:

Paper:

Prompt:

14

Paper: Paper: Paper:

Prompt:Prompt:Prompt:

Grade:

Grade: 8 8 Year:

Year: 20032003

Paper:

Prompt:

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

The writer provides fl ashes of a strong ability to explain an

idea effectively.

“What do you want to be when you grow up? I utter the

same response: an otolaryngologist.

” This begins a unique

and purpose-fi lled way to show, as the writer says, “

…that I

have to manage good grades in order to achieve…

” As

the

topic

is narrowly presented, the writer develops relevant

reasons

and

evidence.

But the latter doesn’t always clarify.

The prose seems to be offered more as sparks of word power

or imagery and not as credible support:

“…like an annoying

bee; glancing at the person and responding, “It is an

ear, nose, and throat surgeon”

is an example. The writers’

message

leaves the reader with batches of examples that

good grades predict the future: “

…certain studying can

determine your life’s course.

” The

introduction

offers

interesting questions:

“How would you manage that

[i.e.,

become a surgeon]

?”

and ends with the paper’s thesis. The

reader has a clear sense of direction. Supporting anecdotes

throughout the

middle

are prepared in a logical pattern that

displays the writers’ position. The well-chosen

transitions

:

“Remember the carefree days… If you flash forward…

No longer do you…”

help to signal connections within. A

summary at the

end

ties up the issues raised in the beginning

questions:

“No longer will people… have that twinkle of

sheer amasement….”

Sentences

generally fl ow smoothly with

wide variations. W

ord choice

is vivid but not always natural. But

it does give the writing strength and adds color:

“…freezing

and barren hospital….”

The writers’ committed (sarcastic?)

voice

hooks the reader. The writer is profi cient in conventions.

Standard English

usage

,

spelling

, and

capitalization

are nearly

always correct.

Punctuation

is mostly correct (overuse/errors

of semicolons) and complex sentences do use colons and commas

correctly.

Paragraphs

provide clarify.

This paper has met the district’s performance standard.

03820a

Expository

Do grades on tests and report cards indicate how

successful someone will be in the future? What do you think? Take

a position and give several supporting details.

Consider older students or adults you know. What do you think their

grades were? Did grades predict anything in their lives?

In several paragraphs describe to a teen magazine editor your point

of view and

explain

why

you take that position.

Content

RA. Topic

purposeful

throughout (4)

RB. Reasons

significant,

relevant

to

support thesis (3)

RC. Evidence

significant,

relevant &

elaborated,

supports reasons

(3)

RD. Message

insightful

,

clarifi

,

es

goes beyond, anticipates

questions (4-)

Organization

RA. Introduction

creatively

presents thesis in

context; draws reader in with

strong

sense of direction (4-)

RB. Middle

purposefully

arranged in a

logical

pattern; clearly fit together (4)

RC. Transitions clearly provide

cohesion

that

covers the bulk of the text; intentionally

signals/

implies relationship

connections (4)

RD. Conclusion

ties up

loose ends with

consequences

, connection to the broader, or

call for action

(3+)

Style

RA. Sentences vary

widely

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure, flow

easily

;

cadence

,

invites

reading aloud (4)

RB. Word Choice

specifi

;

strengthens

c

writing;

shows

use of

active

verbs (3)

RC. Voice

shows

commitment

; reader-writer

interaction; tone attracts reader; audience/

purpose

addressed

(3)

Conventions

R Level 4: Advanced

(According to

grade level expectations)

Good

command

of conventions;

applies

usage, spelling,

and punctuation to

enhance

meaning;

may break rules

for

style purposes. (4)

34

3

4

Page 1 of 3

---

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Mode:

Annotation:

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Mode:

Annotation:

Paper:

Prompt:

15

Paper: Paper: Paper: Paper:

Prompt:Prompt:Prompt:Prompt:

Grade:

Grade: 8 8 Year:

Year: 20032003

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

03820b

Page 2 of 3

Do grades on tests and report cards indicate how

successful someone will be in the future? What do you think? Take

a position and give several supporting details.

Consider older students or adults you know. What do you think their

grades were? Did grades predict anything in their lives?

In several paragraphs describe to a teen magazine editor your point

of view and

explain

why

you take that position.

The writer provides fl ashes of a strong ability to explain an

idea effectively.

“What do you want to be when you grow up? I utter the

same response: an otolaryngologist.

” This begins a unique

and purpose-fi lled way to show, as the writer says, “

…that I

have to manage good grades in order to achieve…

” As

the

topic

is narrowly presented, the writer develops relevant

reasons

and

evidence.

But the latter doesn’t always clarify.

The prose seems to be offered more as sparks of word power

or imagery and not as credible support:

“…like an annoying

bee; glancing at the person and responding, “It is an

ear, nose, and throat surgeon”

is an example. The writers’

message

leaves the reader with batches of examples that

good grades predict the future: “

…certain studying can

determine your life’s course.

” The

introduction

offers

interesting questions:

“How would you manage that

[i.e.,

become a surgeon]

?”

and ends with the paper’s thesis. The

reader has a clear sense of direction. Supporting anecdotes

throughout the

middle

are prepared in a logical pattern that

displays the writers’ position. The well-chosen

transitions

:

“Remember the carefree days… If you flash forward…

No longer do you…”

help to signal connections within. A

summary at the

end

ties up the issues raised in the beginning

questions:

“No longer will people… have that twinkle of

sheer amasement….”

Sentences

generally fl ow smoothly with

wide variations. W

ord choice

is vivid but not always natural. But

it does give the writing strength and adds color:

“…freezing

and barren hospital….”

The writers’ committed (sarcastic?)

voice

hooks the reader. The writer is profi cient in conventions.

Standard English

usage

,

spelling

, and

capitalization

are nearly

always correct.

Punctuation

is mostly correct (overuse/errors

of semicolons) and complex sentences do use colons and commas

correctly.

Paragraphs

provide clarify.

This paper has met the district’s performance standard.

Content

RA. Topic

purposeful

throughout (4)

RB. Reasons

significant,

relevant

to

support thesis (3)

RC. Evidence

significant,

relevant &

elaborated,

supports reasons

(3)

RD. Message

insightful

,

clarifi

,

es

goes beyond, anticipates

questions (4-)

Organization

RA. Introduction

creatively

presents thesis in

context; draws reader in with

strong

sense of direction (4-)

RB. Middle

purposefully

arranged in a

logical

pattern; clearly fit together (4)

RC. Transitions clearly provide

cohesion

that

covers the bulk of the text; intentionally

signals/

implies relationship

connections (4)

RD. Conclusion

ties up

loose ends with

consequences

, connection to the broader, or

call for action

(3+)

Style

RA. Sentences vary

widely

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure, flow

easily

;

cadence

,

invites

reading aloud (4)

RB. Word Choice

specifi

;

strengthens

c

writing;

shows

use of

active

verbs (3)

RC. Voice

shows

commitment

; reader-writer

interaction; tone attracts reader; audience/

purpose

addressed

(3)

Conventions

R Level 4: Advanced

(According to

grade level expectations)

Good

command

of conventions;

applies

usage, spelling,

and punctuation to

enhance

meaning;

may break rules

for

style purposes. (4)

34

3

4

Expository

---

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Mode:

Annotation:

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Mode:

Annotation:

Paper:

Prompt:

16

Paper: Paper: Paper: Paper:

Prompt:Prompt:Prompt:Prompt:

Grade:

Grade: 8 8 Year:

Year: 20032003

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

03820c

Page 3 of 3

Do grades on tests and report cards indicate how

successful someone will be in the future? What do you think? Take

a position and give several supporting details.

Consider older students or adults you know. What do you think their

grades were? Did grades predict anything in their lives?

In several paragraphs describe to a teen magazine editor your point

of view and

explain

why

you take that position.

The writer provides fl ashes of a strong ability to explain an

idea effectively.

“What do you want to be when you grow up? I utter the

same response: an otolaryngologist.

” This begins a unique

and purpose-fi lled way to show, as the writer says, “

…that I

have to manage good grades in order to achieve…

” As

the

topic

is narrowly presented, the writer develops relevant

reasons

and

evidence.

But the latter doesn’t always clarify.

The prose seems to be offered more as sparks of word power

or imagery and not as credible support:

“…like an annoying

bee; glancing at the person and responding, “It is an

ear, nose, and throat surgeon”

is an example. The writers’

message

leaves the reader with batches of examples that

good grades predict the future: “

…certain studying can

determine your life’s course.

” The

introduction

offers

interesting questions:

“How would you manage that

[i.e.,

become a surgeon]

?”

and ends with the paper’s thesis. The

reader has a clear sense of direction. Supporting anecdotes

throughout the

middle

are prepared in a logical pattern that

displays the writers’ position. The well-chosen

transitions

:

“Remember the carefree days… If you flash forward…

No longer do you…”

help to signal connections within. A

summary at the

end

ties up the issues raised in the beginning

questions:

“No longer will people… have that twinkle of

sheer amasement….”

Sentences

generally fl ow smoothly with

wide variations. W

ord choice

is vivid but not always natural. But

it does give the writing strength and adds color:

“…freezing

and barren hospital….”

The writers’ committed (sarcastic?)

voice

hooks the reader. The writer is profi cient in conventions.

Standard English

usage

,

spelling

, and

capitalization

are nearly

always correct.

Punctuation

is mostly correct (overuse/errors

of semicolons) and complex sentences do use colons and commas

correctly.

Paragraphs

provide clarify.

This paper has met the district’s performance standard.

Content

RA. Topic

purposeful

throughout (4)

RB. Reasons

significant,

relevant

to

support thesis (3)

RC. Evidence

significant,

relevant &

elaborated,

supports reasons

(3)

RD. Message

insightful

,

clarifi

,

es

goes beyond, anticipates

questions (4-)

Organization

RA. Introduction

creatively

presents thesis in

context; draws reader in with

strong

sense of direction (4-)

RB. Middle

purposefully

arranged in a

logical

pattern; clearly fit together (4)

RC. Transitions clearly provide

cohesion

that

covers the bulk of the text; intentionally

signals/

implies relationship

connections (4)

RD. Conclusion

ties up

loose ends with

consequences

, connection to the broader, or

call for action

(3+)

Style

RA. Sentences vary

widely

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure, flow

easily

;

cadence

,

invites

reading aloud (4)

RB. Word Choice

specifi

;

strengthens

c

writing;

shows

use of

active

verbs (3)

RC. Voice

shows

commitment

; reader-writer

interaction; tone attracts reader; audience/

purpose

addressed

(3)

Conventions

R Level 4: Advanced

(According to

grade level expectations)

Good

command

of conventions;

applies

usage, spelling,

and punctuation to

enhance

meaning;

may break rules

for

style purposes. (4)

34

3

4

Expository

---

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Mode:

Annotation:

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Mode:

Annotation:

Paper:

Prompt:

17

Paper: Paper: Paper: Paper:

Prompt:Prompt:Prompt:Prompt:

Grade:

Grade: 8 8 Year:

Year: 20032003

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

The writer demonstrates throughout the paper a strong ability

to explain an idea effectively.

An insightful

message

that goes beyond the obvious is presented

in this beautifully written paper.

“Are the 4.0 students bound

for CEO positions while those who fall below standard are

doomed for manual labor? This may seem reasonable,

but the answer is no.”

So starts this purposefully written

paper. Relevant

reasons

with specifi c

details

elaborate on this:

“Albert Einstien’s life demonstrates this fact. While he

was in school, Einstien was much less than a perfect

student… With a school career like this, most thought

Einstien would become a factory worker.”

A narrow

topic

is maintained as the writers’ main ideas are purposefully

offered. With a strong sense of direction, the reader is

drawn in through the

introduction.

The

middle

is purposefully

arranged to elaborate and give supporting ideas clearly, which

hold the main idea together:

“Many say that intelligence

and an ability to understand are the things that can

lead you to success. If this is true, then grades are not a

reliable tool in measuring potential for future success.”

Transitions

clearly provide cohesion throughout the writing:

“…Ultimately… Even though”

, offering connections the

entire time. The

conclusion

provides a thought-provoking piece:

“

Success in life is found by those who pursue it, not by

those who prepare for it

.” With widely varied

sentence

beginnings, sentences fl ow easily. Enhancing, vivid and precise

word choice

is everywhere:

“People are not blessed with

prosperity, but must strive for it.”

An engaging

voice

shows

confi dence,

“…I am no expert, but…”

Usage

of standard

English is nearly always correct as well as

capitalization

and

punctuation

. The presence of

paragraphs

helps to clarify

meaning, and is indicated correctly the same way.

Spelling

is

mostly correct for both common and diffi cult words.

This paper has met the district’s performance standard.

03805a

Expository

Do grades on tests and report cards indicate how

successful someone will be in the future? What do you think? Take

a position and give several supporting details.

Consider older students or adults you know. What do you think their

grades were? Did grades predict anything in their lives?

In several paragraphs describe to a teen magazine editor your point

of view and

explain

why

you take that position.

Content

RA. Topic

purposeful

throughout (4)

RB. Reasons

purposeful

,

fully

support thesis/position (4)

RC. Evidence purposeful, relevant,

elaborated to fully support

reasons,

clarifi

(4)

es

RD. Message

insightful

,

clarifi

,

es

goes beyond, anticipates

questions (4)

Organization

RA. Introduction

creatively

presents thesis in

context; draws reader in with

strong

sense

of direction (4)

RB. Middle

purposefully

arranged in a

logical

pattern; clearly fit together (4)

RC. Transitions clearly provide

cohesion

that

covers the bulk of the text; intentionally

signals/

implies relationship

connections (4)

RD. Conclusion provides

thought

-

provoking

resolution, connection to the broader, or call

for action (4)

Style

RA. Sentences vary

widely

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure, flow

easily

;

cadence

,

invites

reading aloud (4)

RB. Word Choice

vivid

,

precise

, apt,

natural

&

never overdone;

various active

verbs (4)

RC. Voice

engaging

,

confident

, commitment,

takes a risk

; hooks reader; audience/

purpose

strongly

addressed (4)

Conventions

R Level 4: Advanced

(According to

grade level expectations)

Good

command

of

conventions;

applies

usage,

spelling, and punctuation to

enhance

meaning;

may break

rules

for style purposes. (4)

44

4

4

Page 1 of 2

---

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Everett Public Schools

Mode:

Annotation:

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Mode:

Annotation:

Grade: 8 Year: 2003

Mode:

Annotation:

Paper:

Prompt:

18

Paper: Paper: Paper: Paper:

Prompt:Prompt:Prompt:Prompt:

Grade:

Grade: 8 8 Year:

Year: 20032003

Writing Annotations

Above-

Standard-

Basic-

Below-

Cont Organ Style Conv

The writer demonstrates throughout the paper a strong ability

to explain an idea effectively.

An insightful

message

that goes beyond the obvious is presented

in this beautifully written paper.

“Are the 4.0 students bound

for CEO positions while those who fall below standard are

doomed for manual labor? This may seem reasonable,

but the answer is no.”

So starts this purposefully written

paper. Relevant

reasons

with specifi c

details

elaborate on this:

“Albert Einstien’s life demonstrates this fact. While he

was in school, Einstien was much less than a perfect

student… With a school career like this, most thought

Einstien would become a factory worker.”

A narrow

topic

is maintained as the writers’ main ideas are purposefully

offered. With a strong sense of direction, the reader is

drawn in through the

introduction.

The

middle

is purposefully

arranged to elaborate and give supporting ideas clearly, which

hold the main idea together:

“Many say that intelligence

and an ability to understand are the things that can

lead you to success. If this is true, then grades are not a

reliable tool in measuring potential for future success.”

Transitions

clearly provide cohesion throughout the writing:

“…Ultimately… Even though”

, offering connections the

entire time. The

conclusion

provides a thought-provoking piece:

“

Success in life is found by those who pursue it, not by

those who prepare for it

.” With widely varied

sentence

beginnings, sentences fl ow easily. Enhancing, vivid and precise

word choice

is everywhere:

“People are not blessed with

prosperity, but must strive for it.”

An engaging

voice

shows

confi dence,

“…I am no expert, but…”

Usage

of standard

English is nearly always correct as well as

capitalization

and

punctuation

. The presence of

paragraphs

helps to clarify

meaning, and is indicated correctly the same way.

Spelling

is

mostly correct for both common and diffi cult words.

This paper has met the district’s performance standard.

03805b

Expository

Do grades on tests and report cards indicate how

successful someone will be in the future? What do you think? Take

a position and give several supporting details.

Consider older students or adults you know. What do you think their

grades were? Did grades predict anything in their lives?

In several paragraphs describe to a teen magazine editor your point

of view and

explain

why

you take that position.

Page 2 of 2

Content

RA. Topic

purposeful

throughout (4)

RB. Reasons

purposeful

,

fully

support thesis/position (4)

RC. Evidence purposeful, relevant,

elaborated to fully support

reasons,

clarifi

(4)

es

RD. Message

insightful

,

clarifi

,

es

goes beyond, anticipates

questions (4)

Organization

RA. Introduction

creatively

presents thesis in

context; draws reader in with

strong

sense

of direction (4)

RB. Middle

purposefully

arranged in a

logical

pattern; clearly fit together (4)

RC. Transitions clearly provide

cohesion

that

covers the bulk of the text; intentionally

signals/

implies relationship

connections (4)

RD. Conclusion provides

thought

-

provoking

resolution, connection to the broader, or call

for action (4)

Style

RA. Sentences vary

widely

in beginnings,

length, and/or structure, flow

easily

;

cadence

,

invites

reading aloud (4)

RB. Word Choice

vivid

,

precise

, apt,

natural

&

never overdone;

various active

verbs (4)

RC. Voice

engaging

,

confident

, commitment,

takes a risk

; hooks reader; audience/

purpose

strongly

addressed (4)

Conventions

R Level 4: Advanced

(According to

grade level expectations)

Good

command

of

conventions;

applies

usage,

spelling, and punctuation to

enhance

meaning;

may break

rules

for style purposes. (4)

44

4

4

---

#

Conventions

3808

---

#

3826a

---

#

3826b

---

#

3820a

---

#

3820b

---

#

3820c

---

#

3805a

---

#