Chapter

ommuni

Cating

with

arents

hile you may not have daily contact with parents of

athletes, communicating effectively with this group is

just as critical as communicating with athletes. In many

respects, your effort of communicating with parents

may be as important or more so as with any group of people you have

to deal with as a coach.

Being proactive, clear and consistent should serve you well in this

effort. While parents may not always agree with all of your coaching

decisions, being kept in the dark will only exasperate them and create

potential problems.

there are several well-established methods for communicating with

your athletes’ parents. there is no need to re-invent the wheel.

as with

most aspects of coaching, tweak each approach to your setting.

Pre-SeaSon Parent MeetingS

While many schools have utilized pre-season parent meetings for many

years, this effort is still very effective and should not be overlooked.

there is no substitute for being able to head off concerns, answer

questions and establish your expectations before your tryouts and

season get under way. this proactive evening will result in many

positive dividends and prove invaluable. Whether your athletic

department hosts a session for all sports or you are on your own to set

up the meeting, there are several suggestions to make this evening more

successful.

as with most aspects of coaching, planning and preparation are

critical. Not only do you want to make sure that all necessary points

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are covered, but you also want this presentation to be as polished and

professional as possible. Parents will either form a frst impression or

reinforce a previously established one.

What should you cover in your meeting?

the answer is: everything

necessary for mom and dad to understand how you will operate your

program and what your expectations are for the players and their

parents.

there are four items that are absolutely essential to cover, because

these topics are the basis for 95% of all concerns and problems. It only

makes sense to explain in detail the following:

• Team rules.

• Criteria for selecting the squad.

• Criteria for earning a letter.

• Sportsmanship expectations for athletes and fans.

Beyond those four vital items, there are a host of other topics that you

may want to present to your parents considering your setting.

• Academic requirements for athletic eligibility.

• Your coaching philosophy.

• Your team’s style of play.

• How practice sessions are conducted, including the length, when

they normally start and fnish and why or why not fans are permitted

to attend.

• The athlete’s attendance expectations at practice sessions and

games, including any which may be held over vacation or holiday

periods.

• The athlete’s responsibility for issued uniforms and equipment.

COMMUNICATING WITH PARENTS

• How, when and for what topics a parent should contact the coach.

• The athlete’s responsibilities when using social Internet sites.

• The dangers of hazing and harassment and the efforts to prevent it.

• The procedures you will follow if an athlete is injured in a practice

session or game.

regardless of what you cover in your meeting, try to make the

presentation as enthusiastic and positive as possible.

this means

planning, preparation, effort and even perhaps a little practice on your

part. Your presentation is a chance to gain parental support.

While you should provide time for parents to ask questions, you also

want to guard against any one or a small group of parents taking

over and dominating your meeting.

they may have a hidden agenda

or personal vendetta. If you sense this, invite them to schedule an

appointment with you at some future point.

If an issue or question arises which you cannot answer or is extremely

problematic, don’t be afraid to say that you don’t know. Offer to get an

answer and get back in touch with them.

this is also a good opportunity

to direct this individual to the athletic director who can handle the

unusual or unique situation.

HandbookS, bookletS or HandoutS

In addition to discussing many features of your program at pre-season

parents meetings, it is also wise to produce and distribute written

documents featuring many of these items. There are several benefts

of providing these materials and one is that parents can use them for

reference.

You can go into much greater detail and depth in handbooks or individual

handouts than in an oral presentation.

this is good in order to cover all

aspects of your policies and procedures. You can also revise documents

for future seasons in order to cover any loopholes or new concerns.

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In the event that parents cannot attend your pre-season meeting, you can

send the written materials to them. While those missing the meeting won’t

have the advantage of hearing everything frst-hand and being able to ask

questions, they will ultimately have all of the pertinent information.

One last major advantage of utilizing written materials is that a verbal

explanation runs a greater risk of being interpreted to meet varying

perspectives. Individuals normally accept things that are in alignment

to their own beliefs and disregard items that don’t support their

position. Documents that are carefully crafted can help eliminate

misinterpretations.

You can also post all these important documents on a team page

associated with your school’s Web site or as part of an Internet

scheduling site. this provides another avenue for parents to get the

necessary information. You will want to be careful to also update this

site if you add to or edit your materials.

Before distributing any written documents—including team rules,

expectations for practice sessions, team travel and many other

aspects—you should have your athletic director read and approve them.

In this manner, you will be sure that you are in compliance with all

school procedures and policies and will have administrative support in

the event that there is a problem.

at the very least, you should consider providing parents with the

following written documents:

• Team rules.

• The criteria or matrix used for selecting the squad.

• The game and practice schedules—this information is important

for families to plan ahead for transportation and meals.

• Sportsmanship expectations for athletes and fans.

Whether at the conclusion of the pre-season parents’ meeting or by

providing copies of your various documents, it is a very good idea

COMMUNICATING WITH PARENTS

to have your parents sign a form indicating that they have received

everything. their signature does not mean that they necessarily agree

with all items, but it does indicate that they have read your materials.

Unless an athlete is from a single-parent family, it is important that both

parents sign the form. If only one of the parents attends the meeting, the

one who missed the meeting could always respond with, “I didn’t know

or agree to those provisions. I didn’t sign anything.”

The signed policy forms or parent contracts should be kept on fle

for reference. Should a problem develop during the season, having a

parent’s signature is an important piece of ammunition in your arsenal

and would be part of your frst-line of defense regarding the disrespect

of any policy or procedure. a sample copy is included in the

appendix.

newSletterS

Very much like pre-season parent meetings, newsletters are not a

new concept. they can also be very effective and provide parents

with needed information. this communicative effort is useful to

update procedures, provide reminders of important dates and answer

common questions that can help to stem possible concerns and eventual

problems.

By using an e-mail distribution list, your newsletter can be delivered

easily and quickly as an attachment. In this manner, you don’t have

to worry about photocopying, addressing envelopes and postage. It

couldn’t be simpler and your parents will sincerely appreciate your

efforts.

e-Mail blaStS or PHone callS

If you have special announcements, especially if they require

immediate or quick notifcation, you can utilize E-mail blasts. By using

your e-mail distribution list, you can send a brief note—this should not

be used for lengthy topics—to your parents in seconds.

administrators can also reach parents with special announcements

by using Connected phone calls. If you have something urgent that

your parents may need, you should check with your principal or

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superintendent to see if one of their assistants could enable your use of

this technology.

SPecial MeetingS

In addition to pre-season parents’ meetings, there are topics and

situations that may be ideal for hosting a special meeting. explaining

the college athletic recruiting process, steroid abuse and concussion

concerns are a few that are always worthwhile.

By utilizing this approach of hosting a special meeting, you have the

opportunity to share a great deal of helpful, specialized information.

Usually these meetings are extremely well received and appreciated by

parents. this effort of help can create a very positive feeling and form a

connection with the coaching staff and school.

noticeS or FlyerS

A notice or flyer may be a good way to get the necessary information

to parents when announcing new fund-raising initiatives, special events

or team functions. In the past, it would be common to mail flyers or

ask athletes to take them home to their parents.

the downside of this

approach is the time and expense of mailing, and the distinct possibility

that the athlete will forget or neglect to deliver the document.

there is another effective medium to get notices in the hands of parents.

You can easily send notices via an E-mail attachment. If you use your

existing e-mail distribution list, sending an attachment can be very easy

and quick.

booSter club MeetingS

Most individuals obviously think of booster clubs in terms of raising

additional money for athletic programs.

this is an extremely important

purpose. In addition, however, these organizations also provide another

avenue to communicate with your parents and community.

asking for a minute on the agenda of a booster club meeting is an

excellent way to make special announcements for upcoming events or

COMMUNICATING WITH PARENTS

Being Proactive with Parents

n my second head coaching position, I was standing outside of our

team locker room after finishing the post-game meeting and one of

our parents approached me. Dad was unhappy because his son wasn’t

playing as much as he thought that he should. This father started with,

“I coached Matt in the summer league and I know what he can do. He

should be starting. And Matt got a great evaluation from his coach at

camp.”

While all parents love their children and may not be the most

objective judge of their respective abilities, this confrontation required

an immediate attempt to clarify several points. In reality, this young

man was the 13th player at best on a 13-man squad.

As clearly and gently as possible, I explained to Dad:

Playing time is earned in practice, during drills and scrimmage

situations versus our players who are using our system. This provides a

fair and accurate basis for determining who is best suited to start, who

will comprise the substitutes and how long anyone plays.

In a summer league, you aren’t using our system and, of course, not all

of our players are playing. It is in no way comparable to our practice

sessions or games.

All players get glowing evaluations at camps because the individuals

operating the camp want your son to have a good experience and

to return next year. We don’t select our team based upon camp

evaluations.

Matt’s Dad heard my explanations and was satisfied. But being hit with

demands from parents immediately after a game is nerve-racking and

I learned a huge lesson through the incident.

From then on, I always made sure to develop and present parent

expectations forms prior to the season. I always took the time to go

over these expectations with parents at a meeting and provide hand-

outs on them. I learned that being proactive with communication is

vital to avoid potential problems.

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to ask for help at a tournament or team function. Often a booster club

may also have their own Web site and this provides one more outlet for

your notices and announcements.

web SiteS

Many schools have created and use their own Web site and others use

Internet scheduling sites that offer team pages to all of the school’s

sports. Both formats are excellent methods of communicating with your

parents.

In addition to being able to see your team’s schedule, you can include

everything pertinent for your team. Coaches can post their team rules,

practice and travel expectations, pre-season preview and directions to

upcoming opponents.

It is also possible to write brief articles about game results and highlight

outstanding performances by athletes. You can list post-season awards

won by your players and anything else associated with your team as

long as it is done in good taste and in-line with your school’s policies.

PowerPoint PreSentationS

a powerpoint presentation is an important and effective tool to use for

your pre-season, special or community meetings. Not only does this

medium create a more professional and polished image, it also allows

those in the audience a better chance to gather in and assimilate the

important points of the message.

Even if you don’t have any experience with PowerPoint, it isn’t diffcult

to learn most of the basics.

all it takes is a few minutes with a fellow

coach, athletic director or media specialist in your school.

references

Dicollo, J.

Utilizing a Website to the Fullest.

Interscholastic athletic

administration, Fall 2009, p. 23.

COMMUNICATING WITH PARENTS

evers, J.

Conducting Productive Pre-Season Parent Meetings

Interscholastic Athletic Administrator, Summer 2008, pp. 16-17.

hoch, D.

Dealing with Parents

. Coaches’ Quarterly, Fall 2005, pp.10-

11.

hoch, D.

Make your Pre-Season Parents’ Meetings more Effective

Interscholastic Athletic Administrator, Summer 2006, pp. 18-19.

hoch, D.

Pre-Season Parents’ Meetings

. Coaches’ Quarterly, Summer

2008, pp. 4-5.

hoch, D.

The Real Solution to the Parent Problem in High School

Athletics

. High School Today, November 2008, pp. 18-19.