Lesson 11

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Skills for a Successful Life

In this lesson, students use what they’ve learned about effective communication to build a deeper, broader understanding of healthy relationships—how to recognize them as well as create them. In an intentional overlap with content that students may also encounter in a health course, they learn about ways to manage stress. By also covering this topic here, students make the connection between self care and future success, in addition to receiving more than one opportunity to practice stress management. Students increase their understanding of code-switching by learning how to handle a range of social situations that they will encounter as they mature. At the end of the lesson they apply what they’ve learned by developing personal mission statements in which they articulate their most deeply held values as well as their vision of who they aspire to be as adults.

Advance Preparation

The assessment product for this lesson, a personal mission statement, requires students to review the work they have done this semester. They will need access to their portfolios in Class Periods 5 and 6. If you collected their values inventories (from Lesson 4), make arrangements to give those back to students during this lesson.

This lesson is expected to take 7 class periods.

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Lesson Framework

Learning Objectives

Each student will:

Academic Standards

21^st Century Skills

This lesson focuses on the following 21^st century skills:

Assessment

ASSESSMENT PRODUCT	MEANS OF ASSESSMENT
Personal mission statement (portfolio component)	Assessment Criteria: Personal Mission Statement (Teacher Resource 11.2)

–   Basic understanding of personal values, personality, and talents

–   Understanding of how personal values and interests influence what kinds of work will be most satisfying

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Instructional Materials

Teacher Resources

–   Teacher Resource 11.1, Presentation: Are You Stressed? (separate PowerPoint file)

–   Teacher Resource 11.2, Assessment Criteria: Personal Mission Statement

–   Teacher Resource 11.3, Key Vocabulary: Skills for a Successful Life

–   Teacher Resource 11.4, Bibliography: Skills for a Successful Life

Student Resources

–   Student Resource 11.1, Discussion Prompt: A Good Friend?

–   Student Resource 11.2, Worksheet: Scenarios

–   Student Resource 11.3, Reading: Are You Stressed?

–   Student Resource 11.4, Reading: Managing Stress

–   Student Resource 11.5, Worksheet: Preparing a Mission Statement

–   Student Resource 11.6, Assignment: My Personal Mission Statement

Equipment and Supplies

–   Whiteboard or blackboard

–   Computer with LCD projector

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Lesson Steps

CLASS PERIOD 1

INSTRUCTION

–   At the start of class, distribute copies of Student Resource 11.1, Discussion Prompt: A Good Friend?

–   Have students read the scenario individually, and then pair with a neighbor to discuss and respond to the questions you have written on the board.

–   After several minutes, go around the class and have pairs share their responses. Would most students still want to be friends with Anna? Why or why not?

–   Next, write the characteristics of a good friend on the board as students share them. Instruct students to also write them down in their notebooks as they will need them later in the lesson.

–   Point out the connection between the qualities of a good friend and the qualities of effective communication they learned about earlier in the semester. Prompt students to remember these qualities and write them on the board. For example, a good friend pays attention when you’re talking and shows you that he or she is listening by making good eye contact, not interrupting, and asking pertinent questions.

–   Ask students how they relate to the characteristics of a good friend. For example:

Honest (i.e., a good friend tells the truth, is up front with you)

Responsible (i.e., a good friend sets clear expectations; keeps promises; is loyal; sticks to her word; can say he’s sorry or admit when he has made a mistake)

Good listener (i.e., a good friend tries to understand you, hears what you have to say, is considerate of your feelings, gives you space)

–   Once the class has developed a list of the positive qualities of a friend, have them name the flip sides of each quality (i.e., characteristics of a person who is not a good friend), and again instruct students to write them down as you write them on the board. Examples might include:

Isn’t up front with you/is two-faced

Leads you on/breaks promises/can’t be counted on

Gossips/talks behind your back

Can’t admit when they’re wrong/can’t say sorry

Doesn’t listen/doesn’t care what you have to say/talks too much about self/hurts your feelings

Crowds you/is possessive/wants all your attention

Is negative (i.e., has negative attitude/wants to do things that are unhealthy and/or illegal)

–   Conclude this discussion by telling students they will need to keep both sets of characteristics in mind during this lesson. Explain that in this lesson, they are going to take more time to think about communication skills and other tools they can use to help them lead a happier, more successful life.

 

DIFFERENTIATION Remind students that our expectations of how people treat us may be shaped by our cultural heritage. For example, in some cultures parents are expected to be strict or stern disciplinarians. For a student raised in that culture, having a parent who was friendly and “hung out” with their child would be confusing or uncomfortable. It is important for students to become aware of these different expectations, so this activity should be completed in heterogeneous groups, but students need to be reminded to be respectful of other people’s opinions and expectations.

 

STEP 2, DISCUSSION BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF

15 minutes

INSTRUCTION

–   Ask students to read the quote you posted on the board. Some students may claim they can’t understand it because it’s Shakespeare. However, point out to them that they should be able to recognize almost every word in that phrase. If they struggle with the word thine, explain that it means “your.” Then ask students to tell you what the phrase means. The answer should reflect the idea that the most important thing is to be true to yourself.

–   Ask students: what does it mean to be true to yourself? Invite a few volunteers to respond. Then ask students to look at the list of good and bad qualities of a friend, which they developed in the last activity. How do those lists reflect the idea of being true to yourself? Guide students to recognize that some of the positive qualities, like being honest or keeping a promise, are demonstrations of someone being true to himself. On the other hand, some of the negative qualities, like gossiping or being dishonest, are demonstrations of someone who is not true to herself. Being true to one’s self includes not breaking the trust of others, which is what happens with gossip.

–   Ask students to think about the situation they read about at the start of the period (the Anna story). Is Anna being true to herself in that story? If they (the students) were being true to themselves, what would they do in that situation? Guide students to recognize that Anna is not being true to herself; instead, she is giving in to pressure from her brother. If students are being true to themselves, they would not just say “It’s okay”—they would tell Anna how upset they are by what she did. That might not be the easiest thing to do, but it would be the most “true to themselves” thing they could do.

–   Point out that it can be very difficult to know what to do in tricky social situations. Remembering to always try to be true to yourself can help students make decisions in those types of situations. Let students know that they will be talking more about this idea of “being true to yourself” in the rest of this lesson.

 

DIFFERENTIATION Take time to research similar proverbs or famous quotes from your students’ cultures (for example, Confucius valued self-knowledge highly). Share a selection of quotes with the class and, as much as possible, invite your students to share their perspective on how these quotes do or do not reflect modern beliefs within that culture. Guide students to recognize that self-awareness or being true to one’s self has been valued in many cultures throughout the centuries, even if it is expressed differently.

 

CLASS PERIOD 2

INSTRUCTION

–   Begin class by reminding students of the quote they discussed at the end of the last period (about being true to yourself). Point out that although it is very important to be true to yourself, that doesn’t mean you should think only about yourself and not care about other people.

–   Give the following example: imagine that you and one of your really good friends both love playing basketball. You play together after school all the time and you practiced really hard to try to get on the varsity team. When the team is announced, you made it, but your friend didn’t. Of course, you’re really excited, and “being true to yourself,” you might want to cheer or celebrate. But it would be mean to celebrate in front of your friend. So you might adjust how you react and save the celebrating for another time when your friend isn’t around. That doesn’t mean you aren’t being true to yourself, but you’re finding a balance between being true to yourself and being sensitive to your friend. Ask students: if the situation was reversed—if your friend made it and you didn’t—isn’t that what you would want your friend to do?

–   Ask students to think back to what they have learned about communication. Can they think of another example of how they can be true to themselves, but also be considerate of other people’s feelings or expectations? Invite a few volunteers to respond. Remind students, if necessary, of the concept of code-switching, where they adjust how they behave or speak based on who they are interacting with. Again, emphasize that code-switching is not being “untrue” to yourself—it’s about finding a way to be true to yourself and also be sensitive to other people. For example, maybe you love rap and hip-hop. But your grandma is coming to visit and you know she’ll freak out if you’re listening to music with lots of swearing in it. So while your grandma is over, you listen to the music with headphones instead of blaring it all through your house. That doesn’t mean you’re being untrue to yourself—you still like the music and you’re still listening to it—but you’re being respectful of your grandma’s taste in music, too.

–   Point out that the students are entitled to expect a certain amount of respect from people in their lives. If they have a friend or a boyfriend or girlfriend who doesn’t treat them with respect, that’s unacceptable. In the story they read in the last class period, Anna was not being a good friend. They have a right to expect better treatment than that, and it’s part of being true to yourself as well.

 

STEP 4, GUIDED PRACTICE RESOLVING DIFFICULT SITUATIONS

20 minutes

INSTRUCTION

–   Explain that it’s easy to talk about how you should be true to yourself, but in real life, it can be much more difficult to actually do it. Tell students that they are going to look at some real-life scenarios that people their age may face on a regular basis and consider the different ways someone could handle each of these situations.

–   Distribute copies of Student Resource 11.2, Worksheet: Scenarios. Explain that you will do the first one as a class. Ask students to read through the first scenario (The Math Test) and review the questions that come at the end of the scenario.

–   Once students have finished reading, discuss the first four questions, using the following points:

Guide students to recognize that there are always multiple options in a situation like this.

Sometimes when we’re in the middle of a situation, we have a hard time recognizing the reality of the situation. For example, if Destiny really wants to go to the party, it might feel like “if I don’t go to this party, I’ll have no friends and no social life ever!” But that isn’t realistic. If Erica is a good friend, she should be able to understand if Destiny skips one party. On the other hand, Destiny might try to convince herself that going to the party and not studying won’t be a big deal. But that’s not realistic, either. If Destiny is really struggling in her math class, she probably needs time to study in order to do well on the test, and staying out late at a party won’t help any. So skipping study time to party isn’t a good choice, but neither is ignoring a good friend.

Help students to recognize that if Destiny is being true to herself, she needs to take care of both parts of her life. She has set a goal to improve her GPA, and she needs to be true to that. She also cares about her friends and doesn’t want to ignore them, and she needs to be true to that as well.

The goal should be to find a compromise solution. Maybe Destiny could tell Erica that she can’t make it to this party, but make plans to get together with Erica over the weekend. On the other hand, if Destiny knew about the party in advance, maybe she could have planned her time better so she did more studying in advance and could still stop by the party, at least for a little while.

Invite volunteers to share their responses to the last question (what they would do in a similar situation). Be careful not to instruct students that their personal responses are “wrong,” but guide them towards finding a balance between their responsibilities to school and their desire to be with their friends.

–   Let students know that they will have the opportunity to talk over some of these types of situations with their classmates in the next class period.

 

DIFFERENTIATION Again, remind students to be respectful of the ways in which our cultural heritage may shape our expectations about what is or is not appropriate behavior.

 

CLASS PERIOD 3

INSTRUCTION

–   Divide the students into groups and assign each group to one of the other scenarios. Alternately, allow each group to choose a scenario that appeals to them. Ask the groups to read over their scenario, discuss it, and answer the questions as a group.

–   When students have had time to work through their scenario in their groups, discuss the worksheet as a class. Call on a volunteer to summarize the second scenario (Parents Just Don’t Understand). Call on another volunteer to share what their group said in answer to the first question. Repeat this process with the rest of the questions (and with the other two scenarios), so that the entire class gets a sense of the three different scenarios and the different ways to handle them. Remember to emphasize the idea of “being true to yourself” and also highlight opportunities to use code-switching—for example, times when the main character might need to discuss something with an adult.

–   At the end of the class period, collect the worksheets and assess for credit/no credit.

 

DIFFERENTIATION Again, remind students to be respectful of the ways in which our cultural heritage may shape our expectations about what is or is not appropriate behavior. To continue challenging English learners, consider having just the questions translated into students’ primary language(s). That will require them to read the scenario in English, but will help them feel more confident about answering the questions. Make sure they write their answers in English.

 

CLASS PERIOD 4

INSTRUCTION

–   Point out that the situations students looked at in the last class period can be stressful. Ask students to define stress. Common answers may include: pressure or tension, feeling unhappy or burdened, or dealing with a difficult situation. Explain that in a stressful situation, it can be more difficult to use the communication tools that students have been studying. For example, if you’re in a fight with your parents, it can be harder to stay calm, not raise your voice, and listen carefully to what your parents are saying. Because of that, it’s important to learn to recognize when you are under stress and think about how to manage your stress effectively.

–   Explain that sometimes, we don’t recognize it when we are under stress. To help students recognize signs and symptoms of stress, they are going to answer a series of questions that are designed to identify potential sources of stress in their lives.

–   Ask students to get out their notebooks and turn to a blank page. Tell them to write the numbers 1–10 on the page. Project the first slide of Teacher Resource 11.1, Presentation: Are You Stressed? Explain that for each question, students will see three choices (A, B, C). They should write down the letter that best describes how they feel most of the time.

–   Project Slide 2. Call on a volunteer to read the question aloud. Call on another volunteer to read the three choices. Then instruct students to write down A, B, or C based on which one is the best description of how they feel most of the time. Repeat this process with the rest of the questions (Slides 3–11).

–   When you get to Slide 12, have students total up how many A’s, B’s, and C’s they have written down. Next, project Slide 13 and explain to students that if they have mostly A’s and B’s, they are currently experiencing a stressful situation. If they have mostly C’s, they are either not under stress at the moment or they are managing their stress pretty well.

–   Project Slide 14 and ask students to “vote” on whether or not they agree with each statement. Students should show a “thumbs up” if they agree with a statement, a “thumbs down” if they disagree, or a sideway thumb or “so-so” gesture if they aren’t sure. Make note of how many students agree with each statement.

–   Let students know that in the next activity they will find out how many of these statements are accurate.

 

DIFFERENTIATION If you have students who have lived in other countries or are very familiar with other cultures, invite them to talk about stress and how it is handled in those countries/cultures. For example, students who have emigrated from a country experiencing a lot of violence or unrest may think that an American idea of “stress” is pretty mild. Guide students to recognize that everyone is used to different levels of stress. If you have a friend who is stressed-out about something, it doesn’t do any good to tell them “Stop worrying—that’s no big deal.” You need to be respectful of their concerns, even if to you those concerns don’t seem too bad. You may also wish to explore other cultures’ methods of dealing with stress and tension. Acupressure, acupuncture, meditation, and yoga are all commonly practiced in the United States, but all of them originated in other countries. English learners, particularly recent immigrants, may enjoy hearing about how their culture’s techniques are being adopted in this country. Remember, though, to encourage students to be respectful, as some of these techniques are simply “relaxation methods” in this country, while in other countries they are deeply important religious or spiritual practices.

 

STEP 7, READING MANAGING STRESS

30 minutes

INSTRUCTION

–   Distribute copies of Student Resource 11.4. Explain that this reading will introduce some common ways that people handle their stress. Ask students to read each section and answer the question(s) at the bottom, which are designed to help them think about how they might be able to use these stress management techniques in their own lives. Remind students that even if they don’t feel stressed out right now, it’s good to have techniques in mind for the future, since everyone will go through a stressful situation at some point.

–   Give students time to read and answer the questions. Circulate through the classroom, keeping students on task and answering any questions.

–   When students have completed the reading, ask them to look again at the “Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down” statements. Now that they’ve completed the reading, which of those statements do they agree with? Guide students to recognize that all the statements are false. These are myths about stress, common things that many people believe that aren’t really true.

–   Point out that since students now know a lot about stress and how to manage it, they can actually be a resource for their friends and family. Plenty of people—including many adults—are not good at handling stress. Encourage students to share what they have learned with their family and friends.

 

STEP 8, HOMEWORK PREPARING TO WRITE A PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT

5 minutes

INSTRUCTION

–   Distribute copies of Student Resource 11.5, Worksheet: Preparing a Mission Statement. Ask students: do they know what a mission statement is? Take a few suggestions. Then share the definition from Teacher Resource 11.3, Key Vocabulary: Skills for a Successful Life.

–   Explain that in the next class period, students will begin working on their own personal mission statements, which will become a part of their portfolios. To get ready for that work, they need to review the worksheet for homework.

–   Ask students to read over the worksheet for homework. Instruct them to circle or put a star next to the section of the worksheet that they think will be the most difficult thing for them to fill out. Explain that at the start of the next class, they will need to share which section they feel will be the most difficult for them personally.

 

DIFFERENTIATION Writing a mission statement can be difficult, even for students who speak English fluently. If you have a large number of English learners, consider one or more of the following variations for this activity: –   Allow additional class time to introduce the assignment. Give examples of mission statements from people or businesses, and provide those examples in students’ primary language(s) as well as in English. –   Create a separate handout that explains the concept of a mission statement in students’ primary language(s) and distribute that along with this worksheet. –   Allow additional class time for students to complete the worksheet in class. –   Develop a two-part worksheet—one which helps students answer the questions in their primary language(s) and a second part which helps them translate those responses into English.

 

CLASS PERIOD 5

INSTRUCTION

–   Begin class by asking students to get out their mission statement worksheets (Student Resource 11.5). Briefly scan student assignments to get a sense of how many students actually completed the homework (identifying their most challenging section of the worksheet).

–   Next, pair students with a neighbor and ask them to discuss the prompts on the board together.

–   Ask for volunteers to share their responses and encourage classmates to offer solutions.

 

DIFFERENTIATION You may wish to group English learners homogeneously and allow them to discuss the worksheet in their primary language(s).

 

STEP 10, ASSIGNMENT WRITING A PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT

40 minutes

INSTRUCTION

–   When students have had time to discuss the worksheet in their groups, ask them to return to their individual seats. Explain that they will have the rest of this class period to work on this assignment. If they cannot finish it in class, they need to finish it for homework.

–   Let students know that this worksheet is a planner, designed to help them think about what they might want to say in their final mission statement. Explain that they will be writing their actual mission statements in the next class period, so it’s really important they get this worksheet finished first.

–   Encourage students to refer back to their portfolios as they complete the worksheet. If you collected their values inventories, return them now. Remind students that reviewing their values inventory, multiple intelligences assessment, and the career research activities they did can be especially helpful in completing this worksheet.

 

CLASS PERIOD 6

INSTRUCTION

–   Distribute copies of Student Resource 11.6, Assignment: My Personal Mission Statement. Also ask students to get out Student Resource 11.5, which they should have completed for homework.

–   Point out that the worksheet (Student Resource 11.5) helped students think about what they might say in their mission statements. Now they actually need to write their mission statement.

–   Draw students’ attention to the example statement provided on Student Resource 11.6. Ask students to read over the example statement. As they read, instruct students to identify how the sections of the worksheet correspond to the sections of the example statement. For example, the first paragraph of the example statement begins with “These are my values” and the first section of the worksheet asks students to think about the values they identified during their values survey.

–   Give students a few minutes to read over the example statement and make connections between it and the worksheet. When they finish, ask students what they noticed. Guide students to recognize that each section of the worksheet is the source for one paragraph of the example statement.

–   Then ask students to read over the assessment criteria provided at the end of Student Resource 11.6. Call on a student to read the first criterion aloud. Ask the class in general: does the example statement meet this criterion? Why or why not? Repeat this process on the subsequent criteria so that students recognize that the example statement meets all the criteria. Answer any questions.

 

STEP 12, ASSIGNMENT WRITING A PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT

35 minutes

INSTRUCTION

–   Give students time to work on their mission statements in class. Circulate through the classroom, keeping students on task and answering questions.

–   Let students know that if they do not complete their personal mission statement in class, they need to finish it for homework. They will be sharing their mission statements at the start of the next class period.

 

ENHANCED PORTFOLIO OPTION Using their worksheets to guide them, have students create a digital version of their mission statement using Glogster, Prezi, or PowerPoint. Encourage them to incorporate images and multimedia as appropriate. Adjust the gallery walk (Lesson Step 13) accordingly.

INSTRUCTION

–   Have students display their finished mission statements, either by leaving the statements out on their desks or by posting their statement on the wall.

–   Tell students to note the prompts on the board and to have their notebooks and pens with them for this activity.

–   Have students walk around the classroom and view each other’s mission statements, taking notes to respond to the prompts as they go.

–   After students have viewed all mission statements and have taken notes, have them return to their seats to complete the prompts.

 

STEP 14, REFLECTION SKILLS FOR A SUCCESSFUL LIFE

15 minutes

INSTRUCTION

–   Call on volunteers to share their responses to the prompts. Depending on time constraints, you may also wish to ask some broader questions, such as: what did you learn about yourself from writing your mission statement? Why do you think people and businesses write mission statements? What can you learn about a person or a business by reading their mission statement?

–   Note that it’s a good idea to keep your mission statement in a place where you can see it regularly so that you’re reminded of what you’re proud of and what you’re working on. Also, you can—and should— change your statement to reflect changes in yourself as you grow older and your goals change.

–   Collect students’ mission statements to assess using Teacher Resource 11.2, Assessment Criteria: Personal Mission Statement. Students should add their assessed mission statements to their portfolios.

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Extensions

Enrichment

–   Have students use graphic design or drawing software to create a more “artistic” version of their mission statement that incorporates photographs, clip art, or other images. Use these to create a display in your classroom. There are many free programs (like Paint.net) which you can download if your school’s computers do not have that type of software.

–   Have students think about a place they could put their mission statement where they could see it often. First they will need to create a shorter version of it, one that includes statements but not the explanatory sections, so that the mission statement can fit in a small space. For example, students could make a “wallet-size” version and keep it in their wallet. They could post it inside their locker, or they could frame it and hang it up in their bedroom. Work with students to create these various versions of their mission statement (for example, by providing them with different types of paper and helping them figure out the sizing on the computer) so that each student has a “take-home” version he or she can see often.

–   Have students add a famous quotation or song lyric to their mission statements, or have them write their own song lyrics to reflect their mission statements. They should choose words that encapsulate a “guiding” message or something important they want to keep in mind and explain why.

–   Discuss the importance of self-care as the foundation for a successful life. Have students read and discuss articles on nutrition, sleep, and exercise to develop a list of helpful tips for teens.

–   You may wish to expand the communication and self-care tips offered in this lesson to introduce students to nonviolent communication strategies. Marshall Rosenberg’s 4-Part NVC Process ( http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/aboutnvc/4partprocess.htm ) helps students to express how they are, and gauge how others are, to communicate clearly and take action to avoid unnecessary conflict.

–   Have students conduct online research on the mission statements of well-known companies and organizations. Ask them to identity the values, ethics, and “soft skills” (e.g., collaborative environment), if any, mentioned in the statement.

Cross-Curricular Integration

–   English/Language Arts: The novel The Giver by Lois Lowry is in part an exploration of what life would be like if people never had to make any choices and if diversity were discouraged. After students read this book, ask them to write a mission statement for various characters that reflect what each one values and strives for.

–   English/Language Arts: The theme of “knowing one’s self” comes up repeatedly in literature, including Hamlet and Oedipus Rex. Have students read one of these works and then write an essay on this theme. Why does it play an important role in the literary work? Why is it such a universal theme? And what can an audience today learn from the literary work in question?

–   Science: Have students explore the impact of stress on the human body. What are the physical symptoms of stress? What does research indicate is the impact of being under stress long-term? You may wish to have students explore specific physical and psychological reactions to stress, such as post-traumatic stress disorder.

–   Health: Explore the concept of being true to yourself if you are in an unhealthy situation with an adult. Review strategies for staying safe and for what to do if an adult is engaging in inappropriate or abusive behavior with a student. Emphasize that this is an especially important situation in which being true to your own well-being is paramount.

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Based on the Plan Ahead educational materials made available by Gap Inc. at www.whatsyourplana.com and developed in partnership with the Pearson Foundation. Such materials are copyright © 2010–2013 Gap Inc. and all rights are reserved. The Plan Ahead educational materials are provided “AS IS”; Gap Inc. and the Pearson Foundation are not responsible for any modifications made to such materials.

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